User blog comment:Corbierr/To stop this drama/@comment-6107766-20130522012049

Okay. I'm going to tell you my side of the story. I'll tell you the dangerous things I did. I will somewhat explain why I thought I should do those dangerous decisions. But not throughly. Only certain people know about that. And some people...read it on a thread...it was very personal. Whoever read it with out my permission should feel pretty damn guilty.

Sunday.

All of my friends were on the chat. Everything was going on great. Isys and I discussed a summer project. We were all having a good time. Then Tori334 came. I had no idea about anything yet. I considered Tori and I pretty good friends. I was a little annoyed at a comment Tori made at a different wiki's chat (about the Twitter thing, if your reading this Tori) but oher than that we were on good terms I think. I was too busy answering my 10 PMs that kept getting answered idmediatly kept getting answered. Then I got a reply from Ell on our PM. She told me that she was disabling. Then I knew something was wrong. I went to the main chat and saw all the yelling and screaming. I went back to Ell and I's PM and told her not to. But she found out how to and did it. I was so scared. And I flipped. I went to the chat. Ell told me that Tori was being rude to her and causing drama before she decided to disable. I yelled in the main chat. I'm not sure who I yelled at (I have a minor case of short term memory loss) but I know I yelled at Tori once or twice though. Then Isys couldn't take it anymore and left. I got even more upset because Isys and I, like I said earlier, were planning a summer project. So, I having cutting blades at my house. My parents always keep them out of my reach but I'm a freaking girrafe so what do you expect? So I grabbed it. I've always cut, in fact, I still do unfortunatly. But I decided to cut myself because of my personal stress and the wiki stress. Everyone calmed me down and told me not to...but then a few of my friends and I went on another chat, and then I had an even worse thought than cutting. '''Suicide. '''But again, my friends convinced me not to.

Why I had those thoughts.

I'm only going to discuss this a little because it's very personal. I have a servere stress disorder. I have to take medication and use a stress ball and if I don't, I can do terrible things to myself. Like somebody's controlling me. So therefor I'm more prone for cutting and suicidal thoughts. I have PSD, =Posttraumatic Stress Disorder= Look it up if you wanna know more about it.

I'm done.

I'm not going to do anything about this anymore. But I'm also not going to make up and pretend nothing happened. Because this drama effected me more than a lot of people think. Only a few people make me feel like I'm worth something in this world...Ell is one of them. And now she's gone. And now, I don't know what to do.

My 18th B-day chat party will feel empty without Ell.

My Message walls will never be filled with cheerful comments from Ell.

I, will never be the same.

And this can teach us all a lesson. Drama isn't fun. It can lead someone to do something. And it effects people more than what meets the eye.

~Haley~