User blog:TearsOfGold451/Five years. Fünf Jahre. Vijf jaare.

Hello!

You probably don't know me and, if you do, congratulations! I don't know what for but, you know, I'm not a very remarkable or memorable person so, I guess that's a thing.

I'm 16 now! That's weird. Very weird. Like, very weird. I don't know how I feel about it yet.

So, as promised, I am back.

On the 25th of February 2016.

Five years ago, on the 25th of February 2011, the first four episode of House of Anubis aired in the United Kingdom for the first time.

I was 11. Like I said, I'm now 16. That's scary.

I remember turning on Nickelodeon seconds after the first episode had started. I heard the noise of the train as it left the station, and I saw Nina standing on the platform, and I didn't know, at this point in time, how much of an impact this show would have on my life.

I didn't know that a large part of what defines me as a person today, would come from this show.

And, although I don't pay much thought to House of Anubis nowadays, nor do I pretend to be a fan any longer, nor do I frequent this wiki or read fanfiction or rewatch episodes, I am forever thankful to what this show has done for me and what it has given me.

It gave me happiness.

It gave me some of the best memories I could have ever asked for.

I can't talk in detail about these memories anymore. I can sometimes envision them, but it is growing ever harder to do even that. Fortunately, two years ago, I was still lost in these memories; I couldn't seem to find my way out. And I wrote about them, on this very day two years ago. I also wrote about how I wasn't ever sure I'd move on.

And now I have.

I am no longer the fourteen year old boy who longed too much for his past, so much so that he forgot to live in the present. I am no longer the thirteen year old boy who refused to accept that some things just are. I am no longer the twelve year old boy who was too scared to face his fears and instead hid in places that he really didn't need to hide in.

And I am no longer the eleven year old boy who could have no idea where he would be half a decade later.

I said goodbye to that Bailey a long time ago, but I haven't wanted to admit that to myself until now.

And so I will admit here.

Goodbye, Bailey. Enjoy what you have right now, because for a long time it will be the only thing you can think of. But don't forget that there are other things; this world isn't a box, you aren't enclosed by any cage.

Yet in contrast, don't forget the past. Forgive it, if that makes any sense. Embrace that it is what was, not what is and certainly what will be. Appreciate it, but don't desire it.

And most importantly: Don't grow up. You've never wanted to, not truly, and you never will.

So goodbye, Bailey, I'll see you one day again.

Yours sincerely,

Bailey.