User blog comment:Corbierr/MARCH VENT BLOG/@comment-24596535-20150310180922

I hate that I'm not confident in being myself.

I hate how I don't have any goals at all at the moment. I always had dreams and stuff but right now - my life is empty, such as my heart and my soul. I feel like I'm dead. Completely.

I hate that I want to die.

I hate that I don't want to come online anymore. Ever. And no, the fault is not in HOA. I don't want to come to facebook, I don't want to come to twitter, wikia, I wanna disappear and be gone forever.

I hate that I have changed for no reason. (okay, there is a reason but I don't want to be too much detailed)

I hate that I became a heartless asshole.

I hate that I'm always surrounded by the fear of what will they think about me?. It lasted for 3 years now, maybe 4, and yes, it makes me want to die.

I hate that I used to be positive about everything and I hate that I used to help people when they had mental problems and were feeling down but right now I am feeling the same way and it sucks how nobody in my real life wants to talk about it.

I hate that nobody realizes how down I have been all month long.

I'm not an attention whore but once in my life it would be nice if somebody actually cared about me. And no. Talking online about it doesn't help. I talked to my online friends and they didn't help. They were supportive as f*** and I love them for caring so much but I think that I will only receive some faith in myself once somebody in my real life will help.

I hate that I feel like I'm bothering everyone.

I hate that I keep thinking that I have deppression.

I hate that I am always tired.

I hate that I am always nervous. Al-fucking-ways.

I hate that I react to everything too personally.

I hate that I do not trust anyone in my life anymore.

I hate that I'm always down. Always, fucking, forever. I'm not even thinking about killing myself but I really want to just run away, disappear and create a new life with new people. Ugh.

I hate that I'm probably making you worried if you're reading this comment.