Thread:Corbierr/@comment-24596535-20141225232452/@comment-4816103-20141227181841

Because of the new thread you made where we won't be chatting and because I'm too lazy to search for the other AABS threads, here's the scene, re-written and so much better.

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Chance ran into the gym. He felt like he could barely breathe. He just needed to get somewhere he felt safe…

Inside the gym, he saw Park shooting hoops. Nobody else was around, thankfully. His friend noticed him as he came inside and tossed the ball to him. Chance just let it bounce past him, and said,

Chance: Look dude, I’m not really in the mood for...I’m just...I’m sorry, but…

Park: Hey, what’s wrong man?

Park walked forward, but Chance awkwardly moved to sit down on the bleachers instead. His friend joined him.

Park: Seriously, what is it? I haven’t seen you like this before…

Chance laughed.

Chance: What makes you think somethings wrong with me?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park:...I’m not blind, dude. You’re trembling, you’re sweating, you’re not even looking at me.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: Yeah. Right...so it’s obvious then.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Both of them went quiet, and Park waited patiently but nervously for his friend to say something, or look at him, or do anything.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: So, I was fighting with...well, beating up...Jake in our room, and uh...there was blood on my hands. Like, you know, his blood. And seeing it...I realized just how far I pushed it, and...I realized...I’m a horrible person.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park opened his mouth to interject, but Chance looked at him and said,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: Save it. It’s true. And everyone knows it. Except you, I guess. Why don’t <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">you <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">know it? Is it really that hard for you to tell, I mean, you’ve seen me <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">hurt <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> him, right? I don’t understand why… Anyways, I don’t want to be like this. But I can’t help it, what am I <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">supposed <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> to do? I’m turning into my dad, and…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: Whoa, wait a minute, your <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">dad? <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> What did <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">he <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> do?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">With a humorless laugh and a painful smile, he answered his friend’s question.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: We should start with what I did. And that’s...well, I killed my mother. With a gun.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park’s jaw dropped and he moved away from Chance ever so slightly.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: Did I mention I was five years old, unsupervised and completely unaware that the gun was even real? I mean, I thought it was a toy! A really heavy toy...that was just sitting in my dad’s office...but it was in a place where I could reach it, and I asked for a fake one for Christmas so I just sort of thought it was my present! I was an idiot. And then my mom walked into the house, and I playfully fired my gun…  Then there was a horribly loud bang, and then a shriek, and then she was on the ground, bleeding from a bullet in her stomach.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: Good aim, for a five year old.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance tiredly shrugged. He appreciated his friend’s attempt at humor, but it wouldn’t work. It only made things feel worse, in fact.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: Nobody in your neighborhood heard the shot and went to see what happened?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: We lived in hunting lands, dude. Hearing gunshots was pretty common, and since it was also farm land where we were, there was nobody else around for at least a mile.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: Oh...So then what happened?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">He sighed and went on.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: Then my dad showed up. At this point, I had ran and hid in the closet, and he dragged me out of there and made me look at her. Bloody, pale, and <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">dead. <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I tried to run and he held me back, and then lectured me. He wasn’t yelling, but he may as well have been. He told me it was my fault, and that he knew it was an accident, but I still needed to be punished because I was a murderer and it wouldn’t be fair to him- <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">him!- <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">that he deal with such a crime without bringing justice to the criminal.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">There was a pause. He looked away from his hands and instead at Park, to make sure his friend was following the story. Park was looking horrified, which was what he expected the reaction to be. With a deep breath, he went on.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: And then he...well...I won’t sugarcoat it, he started to beat me up. It started the very next morning, and continued...hah, to the week before I left for Artemis. Yeah. That’s, what, twelve years, I think? Twelve years of constant punishment and suffering over a crime I didn’t mean to commit.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: Why didn’t you tell anyone? You didn’t deserve that!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: You see, I sort of did. Well, thought I did, I should say. Dad kept on justifying his actions. He’d act guilty and tell me that he wouldn’t need to do it if I hadn’t shot her. He’d tell me he was saving me from an afterlife in hell. He told me that it was a good thing he was doing, and that if I messed it up somehow...if I fought back, or told someone, or questioned anything he did, or even reacted negatively to the beatings, like by crying or screaming or running away...then I’ll always be a murderer, and I’d be doomed for the rest of my life. At first, you know, I was a little kid so I didn’t understand him, I just knew he scared me. When I was about ten, I understood what he was saying but I didn’t exactly believe him. In fact, the only reason I didn’t get help or something then was because I was either never in school due to injury or getting moved around a lot because whenever people got suspicious, my dad had us move. By the time I was fifteen, it had been drilled into me so much, and I was so tired and so scared of the pain that I was willing to believe anything he said, do anything he wanted, just so it would stop and I could be free. The skeptic side of me never left, but it <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> did <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> get silenced. Until now...

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">There was more silence, and he waited for Park to speak.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: So what now?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: I don’t know, man, that’s the thing. I guess I was taught that it’s okay- or even good- to get physical and mean to a person if they are weaker and if you can tell yourself they deserve it, or that you’re helping them. I convinced myself I was doing Jake a favor by showing him the consequences of failing at a stupid basketball game, and that I was toughening him up or something. I didn’t realize until now that all I did was bully him for no reason at all...and I got you involved in it too. I’m sorry.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park shook his head.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: It’s okay.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: No it isn’t! He didn’t deserve what happened to him! That’s what makes me a monster! That’s why everybody always hated me.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: Well, I don’t hate you!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: ...I know. And I don’t really understand that. I don’t understand how someone <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">wouldn’t <span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">dislike me. When I was a kid, well...people either didn’t know my name, because we were always, you know, moving...or they were scared of me because even back then, I was a bully. People didn’t like me then, I don’t know why they’d like me now.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">His friend stared at him and responded, after a moment of silence,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: Look, I don’t know how everyone else sees you, and I don’t care. I’m still your friend, and I want to help you. I’m going to help you. Okay?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Hearing those words nearly brought him to tears. He had a friend...and he had help...it felt unreal, like he’d wake up and this would all be a dream, and nothing would have changed.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: You mean it?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: Of course! Look at us, dude, we’re like brothers. I have your back.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: T-thank you…I mean, really, thank you. I...I don’t know what to say.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park smiled and gave him a playful nudge.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: You’re welcome, man. ...Hey, your ring.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">He looked at his ring and saw it was glowing. When he curiously touched the stone, it felt warm and comforting.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: Well, look at that. Even my ring is happy. Weird...I guess it doubles as some sort of mood ring. The magical, perpetually black version.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Both of them laughed.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Park: Come on, man. Let’s play a game, one on one. Yeah? Then we’ll order some food. I’m sure I can get the key somehow so we can break into the cafeteria and feast there...what do you say?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance smirked and grabbed the ball.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Chance: You’re on...loser pays for the food!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.5;margin-top:11pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:15px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">They got started on their game. Even though he was still feeling scared and confused deep down, he was feeling better now...hopefully, it would last.