User blog comment:SibunaSeason34/December Vent Blog/@comment-25576856-20141225003235

I hate that I can't fucking fix myself. There's a huge black hole in my heart that I can't fill and I'm a terrible person and I've been trying to fix my low self esteem, reading so many articles about it on google, but nothing helps and I wish I could build real confidence and not this fake shit but I guess it's been permanently engrained from my childhood. It's my fault anyway. At first it wasn't but now it is and I can't fucking fix myself. I can't get rid of it no matter how many times I tell myself how awesome I am. I don't expect anyone to understand. Don't comment that I'm a good person with wonderful qualities because it won't do anything, it won't change my opinion of myself. I've been trying to but there's this black pit inside of me and I'm trying to get rid of it but I can't let go of anything because I'm too damn insecure. My problems are absolutely nothing compared to the many horrible things in the world, which makes me feel even worse about it. I'm fucking pathetic. I'm weak, I've always been weak, and I will always be weak. I've tried to change it. I can't make myself strong, I've been trying to and I can't. I can't.