User blog:SinnerOfRandomness/Trauma (A House of Anubis Angst One-Shot)

'WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: THE FOLLOWING TEXT IS NOT SUITABLE WITH READERS WITH SENSITIVE MINDS OR IS UNDER 13. '











Family reunion day is soon. Parents come to visit their children whom they haven’t seen since the holidays. I won’t be seeing my parents. I’ll be seeing my uncle and my godfather. Maybe. Maybe nobody will come at all.



That’s the thing with not...having parents. You don’t know what remaining family you have even wants to be with you. To one who has parents who love and care about them, this is pitiful. But to me, it’s just life. I haven’t been around either one of my parents in four years. Never was in a good environment, neglected. So it’s as if I never really had parents.



Finally I was taken out of the home and put in foster homes. Still never got the care a child should get. Abuse, more neglect. Finally my mother’s brother, Ade, took me out of foster care. Although, he couldn’t really take care of me. So he put me in boarding school. His assistant and best friend, Jasper, became my godfather, my other guardian for when he couldn’t be there for me. But they’re both always busy, so I’m usually left alone. I’ve gotten used to it. Doesn’t bother me at all. Sometimes I’d honestly prefer to be left alone.



<span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Days passed. Of course nobody showed up for me on family reunion day. I was fine with that. I excused it to the people who asked.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I have a very busy family. Tight schedules. Nothing to worry about.”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Amber thought I was sad about it, so she told me that maybe someone would come a few days later. I tried to hold back a laugh. Nice of her to even think of that though.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">💊💉💊💉

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I sat on my bed studying for the upcoming History test. I was surprisingly unfocused though. My mind just wanted to run.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Suddenly the door opened.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Victor wants to see you in his office, honey.” Trudy said peeking her head in the doorway. I put my pencil in my text book and closed it to keep its place. I sighed and got up. What could Victor possibly want? I, with annoyance, walked up the stairs to his office and knocked on the door.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Come in.” He snapped. I opened the door and accidentally slammed it, making it seem like I had an attitude. Which, technically I did.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You can drop that attitude now, Fabian. Why do you suddenly have medications coming in the mail for you?” He asked immediately.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“What medications are they?” I asked.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“That’s not the point. Why do you have medications? Why didn’t I know about them? Why aren’t they on your record here?” He interrogated holding up a yellow folder that must be my record.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“If it’s panic attack medications and inhalers, I’ve been getting them in the mail for years. Since I’m responsible for getting the mail, I take the meds from the pile and throw them away. I don’t need them.” I explained. This was true. When I’m scared, I have a panic attack. When I have a panic attack, I hyperventilate. When I hyperventilate, I need my inhaler. I haven’t been scared to that point  in a long time though, so that’s why I don’t need the medications. I flush the pills away and just throw the inhalers out the window.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I looked at the small paper bag on Victor’s desk. It had my name on it and the names of medications. I was right.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Should you be taking them though? And...where do you dispose of this stuff?” He asked.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“No because I don’t need them anymore. They just continue to send it anyway. And the toilet and window.” I answered.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Should I cancel the prescriptions?” He asked. I nodded.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“That’s all I needed to know. Now go.” He snapped. I held my hands up and then left his office. Should I be taking them? Probably. Will I? No.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I threw myself back on my bed and tried to focus on studying again. But I was suddenly so tired...sleep was the only thing my mind wanted. And what <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">wanted.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">💊💉💊💉

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Oh God I’m going to fail that history test today…” Alfie complained as we all ate breakfast.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I think we all are honestly. I mean who at this table honestly studied last night?” Nina asked. Mara raised her hand proudly. She was the only one.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Even <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">you <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">didn’t, Fabian?” Jerome said, smirking. My eyes were heavy. I felt like I was falling asleep at the table. Honestly, I wanted to.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Hello?” He asked snapping his fingers. I lifted my head up from the table.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">What <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">?” I hissed. His eyes widened. Nina looked at me.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“What’s wrong?” She asked. Everyone was now staring at me.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Can you not stare-”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Fabian! You have a visitor! Also Victor wanted me to let you know that he cancelled the prescriptions? Whatever that means…” Trudy said. I turned around to see a man. A man with dark brown hair, just like mine. Blue-green eyes, just like mine.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Fabian I haven’t seen you in years! I hope you still remember me.” That familiar nightmarish voice said.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“See?! I told you someone would come!” Amber said happily. Burning in my throat. No oxygen. Can’t. Breathe.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt.” He whispered in my ear viciously. He pushed me against the wall. Over. And over. And over. And over again. For years. And years. Five year old me didn’t know what Daddy was doing. Neither did six, seven, eight, nine, ten, or eleven year old me knew. Twelve, thirteen, and fourteen year old me knew though. But I couldn’t do anything about it. I wasn’t taken away for fourteen years. The pain, of him entering me from the behind, whipping my back for nine years. Once mummy died of too much sex, it was my turn. I escaped before it was too late. But only by a hair.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt.”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt.”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt.”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt.”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt.”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt.”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt.”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt.”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say, and you won’t get hurt.”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">CAN’T. BREATHE. CAN’T. SEE. CAN’T. HEAR. My lungs, they slowly crumble in fear. No inhaler. No pill.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Eyes on me. Nobody helping. Nobody helping at all. Just staring. STOP STARING!!! HELP ME!! PLEASE!!

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">He put his hands on my shoulders.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Has he been taking his medications? Does he have his inhaler?” He asked.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“No...I’ve never seen Fabian take medication?” Trudy said with confusion.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Is that what Victor cancelled?” She asked me. Why ask me something when I feel like I’m going to fall into that black sea called <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">death <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">? Why isn’t anyone helping me? My lungs...they have to be on the verge of collapsing.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Any paper bags in the area?” He asked calmly. The way he’s going about this...scares me...so much…

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Alfie dumped packaged food out of a brown paper bag on the table and handed it to my father. He handed it to me and I grabbed it aggressively and put it to my mouth. I could see the world spinning right before my eyes. I was slowly regaining strength in my chest, but not fast enough. I knew I would be okay, though.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I’m Fabian’s father, by the way.” He said with a smirk. My heart kept beating faster and faster and faster. Although I could breathe, slightly, would I be able to stay calm?

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Why weren’t you here on family reunion day?” Patricia asked.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I have a busy schedule that couldn’t be broken. Today was the soonest I could come. I haven’t seen him in many years, so I figured I should come.” He lied. I wanted to crawl in the bag and hide forever.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I don’t think you should go to school today, Fabian. Go lie down.” Trudy said to me. With struggle, I got up, stumbling all over the place. I had to use the wall for support most of the small distance to my room. I slammed the door and fell onto my bed and screamed into my pillow. I took my textbook which I had fell asleep on during the night, and threw it against the wall. I let out a yell and punched the wall over and over again. I could feel my scalding tears rolling down my cheeks.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’ll never escape this Hell, <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I thought. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Never. He’ll always be here. In some way. Whether it’s in my mind or physically...he’ll always be here. He haunts my fictional nightmares. He’ll haunt my reality.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Fabian! Quite a show you put out there, yeah?” Satan said with amusement, sliding into my empty room with just me, feeling smaller and smaller with every word the Devil says. He closed the door and locked it.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I’ve waited four years for you,” He smiles.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“But now I finally have you.” There’s a shake in my just recently regained breath. How does one become so afraid? <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">He walks to me and grabs my face with his two hands.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You’ve grown up so much...you look so different…” He trailed off. I felt a huge lump in my throat as he walked behind me.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Do as I say...and you won’t get hurt.” He hisses in my ear. I want to scream, but I stay silent. He pushes me to the wall closest to us, ramming his elbow into my spine. I shiver as I feel the bottom half of my body revealed to the cold air in the room. I try not to think about the pain...the trauma my body is going to receive any second now.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">It happened. It feels like a stab from the behind. A knife going in and out quickly. Stabbing me in the same place over and over again. I try to keep my face emotionless, although my mind is racing. Exploding like an atomic bomb. My heart beating out of my chest. My vision blocked by dancing stars.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Fifteen minutes later, it’s all over.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You’re lucky there are others in this house. I would have done that <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">much <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">longer if you didn’t have a roommate…” He said buckling himself. I don’t move from the wall, standing there, still exposed.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Bye for now, <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">son <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">.” He hisses at me evilly. Then he leaves the room, closing the door gently. I slap the wall hysterically for what seemed like hours. I bang my head until blood begins to flow to the ground.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I pulled up my pants and threw myself on my bed, looking at the blank ceiling, letting those dancing stars grab me and pull me into a black oasis of silence and privacy.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">💊💉💊💉

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I hope you’re not weirded out when I say this Fabian, but your father is <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">hot <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">,” Joy said. I stayed silent, keeping my screams of anger in the back of my mind. Anger that she would even say that…

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“He is though! He’s so buff…” Joy trailed off, replying to all of the other students at supper’s weirded out stares.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Stop.” I snapped.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Sorry...I mean he looks like you so it’s a comp-”

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Stop <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">!” I yell, trying to hold back tears. She shut up.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I mean, yeah, that was weird but...you’ve been acting really weird yourself, Fabian…” Patricia said, slightly standing up for her best friend.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Ever since his father came to visit him, I noticed.” Nina added. They starting discussing what could be wrong with me, totally forgetting my presence. Out of all of their mouths, all I hear is “father” “dad” “his dad” “him”...

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I take my plate, filled with untouched food Trudy specially prepared, and chucked it at the wall behind Joy. She screams and ducks as it slams into the wall.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“WHAT THE HELL DUDE?!” Jerome screams.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">!” I scream back to all of them.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! NONE!” I laugh hysterically. I get up from the table and kick the chair I was sitting in out of my way and back away from the room laughing. Nina gets up and follows me.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“PLEASE! TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG! I want to help!” She cries at me holding my shoulders. All I see in my vision is red rage. I smack her hands off of me and back away from her. Her hands shake as she looks at me, tears in her eyes.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’ve become a monster… <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">, I think. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I...I have to kill the monster who went into me. I have to.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Murder.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">💊💉💊💉

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">That night I had a nightmare. I had a nightmare of him hunting me down in the boys’ bathroom at school and stabbing into me again. This time, killing me, just like he did to my mother.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I lie to Trudy, saying that I am unwell. She believes me and lets me stay home. When I’m alone, I sneak out of my room from the window and leave school premises. I sneak into a gunshop and steal a pistol, successfully. Nobody even saw me go in.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I made my plan. He’s coming for supper tonight, I could kill him while he’s in the house. I could lead him on, lead him outside...kill him.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I sit at the dinner table awkwardly as everyone is quiet around me. I hear Victor and Trudy talking about something in the hallway as my father finally enters the room. Everyone’s faces light up.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I must have made a charming impression on your classmates here, huh?” He smirks putting his hand on my back.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Putting.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">His.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Hand.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">On.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">My.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Back.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Too.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Low.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">For.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Me.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">To.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Handle.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I scream and pull the gun out from my hoodie and aim it at him. Everyone screams and gets as far away from me as possible.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You’ll have to excuse him...he’s...not well in the head...I don’t know if you guys knew that…” He trails off, glaring at me daring me to shoot.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You’d never be able to pull that trigger on me, Fabian. I’m all you got, boy.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Once I pull this...you’ll never humiliate me again. You’ll never violate me again. You’ll never hurt another person again. You’ll go to the place where you belong, since you’re the bloody Devil.” I snap.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Fabian, have you been seeing those doctors I suggested on your record?” He asks.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“NINE YEARS.” I scream.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Fabian, drop the gun!” Victor yells, behind my father.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Nine years of what? Nine years since your mother died? I know...it’s traumatizing. I know you blame me for her death...but you have to understand I didn’t do it!” He lies.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You fucked her to death. You were going to do the same to me if I wasn’t taken out of your home.” I snapped. Amber screams.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“That’s...why...he’s...been acting so…” Jerome shakes.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Pull the trigger, and your life will change, boy.” He hisses. My hands don’t shake when I pull the trigger. For once in the presence of my father, <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’m in control.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-align:center;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">💊💉💊💉

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Instead of prison, I was put in a mental institution because of my “mental illness”. I don’t call it a mental illness. I call it standing up to the monster. Anyway, I’ve been here for a few months now. My aim that night wasn’t good. I didn’t kill him, I killed Victor. My world felt like it stopped spinning when I did that. I remember blacking out.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You have a new roommate, Rutter.” One of the men in white said to me throwing some guy in a straight jacket into my room.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“What are you in here for?” I ask. He looks oddly familiar.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">He picks himself up from the ground and looks at me with a creepy grin.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“My name is Mike. I’m in for raping people.” He smirks. <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Him.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I saw you with some others earlier…” He smirks. He sits on my bed...too close.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“We’re going to be the best of friends.”

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Bitter;color:#000000;font-weight:normal;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You know when stars dancing block your vision? The stars weren’t <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Bitter;font-size:16px;white-space:pre-wrap;text-align:center;line-height:1.8em;">dancing this time. One star was ramming itself into the back of the other. How odd.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Bitter;font-size:16px;white-space:pre-wrap;text-align:center;line-height:1.8em;">--

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"> Thanks for reading! This story is really close to my heart and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Also, I hope you got the message I was hoping you'd recieve.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"> Rape is a serious thing. Just remember that.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"> If you or someone you know is a rape victim and needs help, you always have help here. Or if you just want to talk, I'll be here. Because I know exactly how it feels.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.15;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"> <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:georgia,serif;font-size:10px;line-height:normal;">[let me free...let me breathe] 00:57, November 10, 2014 (UTC)