User blog:Corbierr/What I've learned today.



'''Note- The first part of this has a bunch of ranting in it, and I apologize heavily in advance; If I hurt any feelings or anything, tell me so I can apologize directly. I in no way mean anything against anybody, I just have stuff to get off my chest. Also, if you don’t want to hear me upset, just skip fact 1. Again, apologies in advance. '''



So today was the drama meeting, and uh...stuff happened. It wasn’t the stuff Jade and I had really intended, at least not at first... Point is, it made me have to face two big facts...and today, I’m going to share them.



Fact 1
''When there is a chance for drama, any drama, to slip in...it will slip in and it will not stop for anything. ''

Holy shit. I mean, holy shit guys. I won’t go into detail, but if you were there you know why I’m angry. Today was the time to reconcile, make amends, and take a step towards ending the drama. But instead of ending drama, we got more of it. It nearly destroyed the meeting.

I am not pointing fingers, because let’s be honest, in that situation everyone was at least a little bit at fault, and to be honest it doesn’t matter who started it or who was involved. But it happened.

So it’s time for me to drop the optimistic act and face up to the fact that this drama is relentless. Unless everyone really makes an effort to stop, it won’t stop. But now it’s even less likely, because people are getting irritated, and we’re all too stubborn to step back and let things go, to give in, to accept that not everything is going to go our way. Yes, I do that too, I do it way too often, especially when dealing with drama here, so before you think I’m blaming anyone, again, I’m not.

But I do have to say, it’s just...really, people? Really? I know we all say we’re trying, I know we all say we want it to end, but I’m beginning to think like most of us aren’t really trying, because if we were all trying, guess what would happen?

''Not drama, that’s what. ''

Is it really hard to think before you type? To listen to what other people have to say? To take a chance, to try something, even if it seems dumb? To stop being so stubborn and admit when you might be doing something wrong?

Now, I understand that sometimes we can’t handle it. Sometimes people just can’t help but get angry or make comments. I understand that completely. But...if you can help it...if you know it’ll cause problems, and it’s not a completely important thing to say, just...get a venting buddy. Find someone you know you can trust and tell them how you feel. That’s it. That’s really all it takes.

So why the hell is it so hard for people to do that?

Tell me, I want to know, why can’t people just...think, and listen, and attempt to make a difference? Why can’t people just try and let things around here change?

Is it because it’s impossible?

<p class="MsoNormal">...Maybe it is. Maybe I’ve been too optimistic, maybe I need to step back and be honest and say, “Yes, this place really is hopeless, and the drama is going to continue until everyone is gone and all that’s left is a smoldering pile of ash and undeleted insults that used to be a wonderful place called the House Of Anubis Wikia.”

<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe I’ve been wrong this entire time, maybe change isn’t possible. Today, that seems like the truth, and I’m really sorry but I have to admit it.

<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe I’ve been wrong to try so hard to keep everything peaceful and keep everyone happy. Maybe you can call me an idiot for caring so much when people seem to be caring less and less about this place by the day. Maybe my efforts don’t matter.

<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe I should stop trying to get people to listen about what I have to say, stop trying so hard to take care of everyone’s problems and keep everyone happy because you know what? I know I don’t let you guys know this, I know I say I’m always happy to help because you know what I am always happy to help that’s the truth that’s why I’m an admin that’s why I’m here...but you guys don’t realize that it takes a toll on me. It’s hard to be the one always trying to fix things, being the one who tries their hardest to make others feel better when they need me.

<p class="MsoNormal">Because you know what? No matter how many times I help with a problem, the problem always comes back and I always need to help again. No matter how hard I try my efforts always seem to be completely wasted and it hurts. It’s exhausting. Maybe I don’t have the right to complain about the drama because I’m never the one actually involved but it doesn’t matter. It affects me more than you guys know, way more.

<p class="MsoNormal">That said...I did learn something else today...

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Fact 2-
<p class="MsoNormal">''There is still hope. ''

<p class="MsoNormal">That’s right, I said it. There is hope for this place, because you know why?

<p class="MsoNormal">Because after the drama ended, and stage 3 happened...well, it wasn’t much...but something did happen. Maybe it’s just because Jade told you guys to do it and so you did, but...

<p class="MsoNormal">Guys, maybe it’s hard to believe. Maybe you, personally, don’t believe there’s any hope left, but after the anger and drama, there was love, affection, for each other.

<p class="MsoNormal">I won’t go all hippie and pretend like everyone here is capable of loving or liking everyone else, it’s just not possible, and there will always be conflict between people because let’s face it, it happens, you won’t like everyone and not everyone will like you.

<p class="MsoNormal">But just knowing that these friendships matter, that people really do care for each other, that it’s entirely possible to have a conversation with people and make it a good, drama-free one, it gives me a little bit of hope for this place.

<p class="MsoNormal">What do we do about this hope? Well...I don’t know, but I’ll try to think of something. Maybe a second “Why We All Love Each Other” blog? A friendship day? I don’t know, but knowing that there are more feelings on this wiki than just hatred, it makes me feel a little better about our future.

<p class="MsoNormal">I still say that if people change their actions, this drama could end. But now I realized that’s not entirely true. It’s not just about fixing what once went wrong, it’s about healing the bonds and building new ones as well.

<p class="MsoNormal">So, if you’re reading this, I encourage you- go find one of your friends and remind them that you care about them. Do it to as many of your friends as you want.

<p class="MsoNormal">But don’t just stop with friends; Try and make friends with users you don’t know. Try and reconcile with someone you’re fighting with. We don’t need a giant “OMA IM SO SORRY” thing here people...if someone hurt you, you don’t need to forget. But forgiveness...forgiveness, I think, could fix things.

<p class="MsoNormal">Please, try it. It won’t hurt. You might make someone smile. And won’t that make you smile, too?

<p class="MsoNormal">Call me crazy and too idealistic, go ahead, but I see absolutely no harm in showing someone you care. Maybe that person may not care as much for you...but even then, building, mending, or strengthening the bridge between you and someone else cannot hurt. If anything it’ll only make things better.

<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe I’m reading too much into this, maybe these bonds aren’t strong enough to keep things okay...but you know what?

<p class="MsoNormal">''Before you claim it won’t work, go. Freaking. Try. It. ''

<p class="MsoNormal">''You may be surprised. ''

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So,  now what?
<p class="MsoNormal"> Is this place hopeless? Uh...no. Not really. We can save this place. But we’ll all have to make an effort. Any effort, no matter how small, can mean the difference between everyone disabling and everyone being happy again.

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<p class="MsoNormal">So...I don’t know about you guys. Maybe I’m right, or maybe I’m wrong, and this place is beyond saving.

<p class="MsoNormal">But I’m going to keep trying, no matter what everyone else here may say about it.

<p class="MsoNormal">I refuse to give up on this wiki without putting in one more fight.

<p class="MsoNormal">Question is...do you?

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